If I Die Young
by lolitarun
Summary: Blaine has a secret that he can no longer keep.
1. If I Die Young

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Glee or any of these characters… if I did, Karofsky wouldn't exist anymore, Jesse wouldn't have been such an asshole (albeit one I believe legitimately fell for Rachel), and there would be a LOT more Blaine. The song "If I Die Young" belongs to The Band Perry.

**A/n: So this ficlet came to me during my vacation. It's going to be short… just a couple of chapters.**

"_If I die young, bury me in satin  
__Lay me down on a bed of roses  
__Sink me in the river at dawn  
__Send me away with the words of a love song_

"_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
__She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors  
__Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no  
__Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby_

"_The sharp knife of a short life  
__Well, I've had just enough time_

"_If I die young, bury me in satin  
__Lay me down on a bed of roses  
__Sink me in the river at dawn  
__Send me away with the words of a love song_

"_The sharp knife of a short life  
__Well, I've had just enough time._"

Blaine's voice cracked over that line. Just like his voice had cracked over that line every time he had tried to sing this song. Normally he didn't make it through the first chorus before he had to stop. But his hands kept strumming the chords on the guitar, his eyes holding back the tears that threatened to come every single time he started to sing. He needed to be able to say this. To be able to admit what was going on with his life.

"_And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom  
__I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger  
__I've never known the loving of a man  
__But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand_

"_There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever  
__Who would have thought forever could be severed by  
__The sharp knife of a short life  
__Well, I've had just enough time_

"_So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls  
__What I never did is done_

"_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar  
__They're worth so much more after I'm a goner  
__And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing  
__Funny, when you're dead how people start listening_."

Blaine felt the tears starting to slide down his face. He could do this… he could get through the song. He could say the words, admit that this was ending.

"_If I die young, bury me in satin  
__Lay me down on a bed of roses  
__Sink me in the river at dawn  
__Send me away with the words of a love song_

"_The ballad of a dove  
__Go with peace and love  
__Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket  
__Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh_

"_The sharp knife of a short life  
__Well, I've had just enough time  
__So put on your best, boys  
__And I'll wear my pearls_."

Blaine's hands let go of the guitar without thinking about it. He didn't even wince at the sound it made as it slid off his lap and hit the floor. Blaine didn't even think about the damage that might be done to the instrument, because all he could think about were the tears streaming down his face and how much he didn't want anyone else to see what was going on.

"Blaine?" Blaine quickly reached up and pushed the tears away from his face, not looking in the direction the voice was coming from.

"Yeah? What's up Kurt?" Blaine knelt down and picked up his guitar as he spoke, doing his best to avoid looking at the younger boy.

"Are you okay?" Blaine jumped as he felt Kurt's hand on his back. Blaine stood up and looked at Kurt. "You've been crying…"

"Yeah. I have." Blaine wasn't going to try and lie his way out of this one. It wouldn't do any good, anyway. Kurt had caught on that something was wrong. Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes as they stood there in the common room. He slowly reached his hand up to Kurt's face, stroking his thumb against the younger boy's cheek. Blaine closed his eyes and sighed, shaking his head. "I can't do this."

"Blaine…" Kurt began. Blaine started to pull away from Kurt, but the younger boy pressed his lips against Blaine's and the older boy had no idea what he was doing so he chose to do nothing. Blaine let Kurt do what he wanted, until the younger boy pulled away from the kiss.

"I can't do this to you," Blaine said, pulling away from Kurt. He shook his head as Kurt tried to move closer to him again, and Blaine put his hand against the younger boy's chest to make him stay away. "Stay away from me, Kurt. Don't fall for me. Just… just save yourself."

"Save myself from what, Blaine?"

"From me… I'm only going to hurt you. Just stay away." Blaine turned on his heel quickly, moving away from the younger boy and out of the common room. He didn't even think about the fact that he had left his guitar with the younger boy. Blaine pushed his way through the halls, intent on only getting out of the building, getting as far away from Kurt as possible.

"Blaine?" He didn't hear his name being called. "Blaine, wait up, man!" Blaine stopped on the front porch of the building, staring out over the manicured green lawns of the campus. "Dude… it's almost dinner time. The dining hall's the other way…"

"I'm not going to dinner." Blaine closed his eyes as he heard the squeak of someone's shoes running up behind himself and David, who had stopped him in the midst of his escape.

"Is something going on? You never miss dinner…" David began.

"I just have a headache. I'm going to lay down."

"Blaine…" Blaine closed his eyes at the sound of Kurt's voice. "You forgot your guitar." Blaine could hear the hurt in Kurt's voice. "I get it, okay? You don't feel the same way. And I'm sorry."

"It's not that simple… I do feel the same way, Kurt…" Blaine began.

"Then what's the problem? Because honestly, I don't get it." Blaine turned around, doing his best to fight back the tears.

"What do you want me to say, Kurt? I've been in love with you for months, but I couldn't say a word because I knew that it wouldn't mean anything. That it doesn't mean a thing that I'm in love with you, because a year from now it'll all be over and all that you'll have left is a broken heart." Blaine shook his head, the tears starting to flow freely again.

"That makes no sense…" Kurt began.

"It makes perfect sense." Blaine turned around, shaking his head as they stood there.

"What's going on here?" David asked again. "What the hell are the two of you talking about?"

"That's what I want to know…" Kurt added.

"Kurt… I can't let you fall in love with me because you're just going to end up getting hurt."

"Why are you going to hurt me? Why can't you just give me one straight answer about what's going on?"

"Because I can't say it. I'm afraid to say it."

"I don't understand…" Kurt began. Blaine shook his head, feeling his knees shake. He turned around, sitting down on the stairs. "Please, Blaine… just tell me what's going on."

"I'm dying…" The words were whispered, almost non-existent.

"What?" Blaine felt Kurt sit down next to him, his hip pressed almost uncomfortably close to Blaine's.

"I'm dying. It's everywhere…"

"What's everywhere? Blaine… what are you talking about?" Blaine took hold of Kurt's hand, pulling the younger boy's hand up towards his neck until Kurt's fingers were grazing over the bump that made up the infected lymph node in his neck. He could see the pain in the younger boy's face.

"It's cancer, and it's spread… everywhere. There's nothing they can do." Blaine closed his eyes, pulling himself away from Kurt as much as possible. "Which is why we can't do this… why I can't be with you. I can't hurt you like that."

"Blaine…" He felt the younger boy's hand on his knee, and Blaine couldn't stop the tears any longer. He had held things together for so long… but now he was falling apart. "How long have you known?"

"Since I went home last week… that was kind of the whole point of going home."

"But you came back."

"To say goodbye… to finish things, at least to some extent. I'm staying until after Regionals next week. Against my mother's will, of course. After that, I'm packing my bags, going home," Blaine replied. "I want to stay… finish the year, graduate. But there really isn't much point. And my mom wants me at home." Blaine felt Kurt move closer to him, felt the younger boy's arm slide around his shoulders.

"There's got to be something…" Kurt began.

"There isn't. I'm too sick… I've been sick for months, but I thought it would get better…"

"You were already sick when we met."

"I didn't know… I knew something was off, but I was so busy. I don't think it would have made a difference. A couple of months sooner, it would have just meant a couple of more months I would have to live with this." Blaine felt a hand on his cheek, turning his face towards Kurt's. "Kurt…"

Blaine didn't fight as Kurt cut off his words with a kiss. It was sweet and gentle, and after a moment Blaine allowed himself to return the kiss. He wanted his hands all over Kurt, but Blaine stopped himself from taking things any further, pulling away from the kiss after a moment.

"I love you, Kurt. Which is why I can't do this to you… I can't hurt you like this." Blaine pulled away from Kurt as he spoke.

"What if I want you to… what if I'm okay with you hurting me?" Kurt asked. Blaine shook his head, closing his eyes and wiping at the tears that were still falling as he tried to pull himself together. "I love you, Blaine… I don't care."

"I shouldn't let you do this."

"I don't think you have a choice."


	2. Happy Ending

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Glee or any of these characters… if I did, Karofsky wouldn't exist anymore, Jesse wouldn't have been such an asshole (albeit one I believe legitimately fell for Rachel), and there would be a LOT more Blaine. The song "If I Die Young" belongs to The Band Perry. "Happy Ending" belongs to Mika.

**A/n: Like I said before, this is going to be short… which is why this chapter is jumping straight to Regionals. I may write an intermediate scene later, but we'll see… there's one aspect of the song from the first chapter that I'd like to look at a little closer, but it would be an "extra" scene to be published separately.**

The audience was completely silent before they began singing. If it hadn't been a part of the plan, it might have freaked Kurt out that it was so quiet in a room full of people.

"_This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No happy ending_"

Kurt could see the way everyone shifted uncomfortably as a small group of the Warblers began singing.

"_This is the way that we love  
Like it's forever  
To live the rest of our life,  
But not together_"

Blaine was singing lead, like usual, but Kurt could tell as he began singing that the older boy wasn't completely there. Blaine's mind was on something other than the competition, and Kurt couldn't blame him. After all, Kurt, Wes, and David were the only Warblers that knew Blaine was leaving Dalton. Blaine had to tell the others… after.

"_Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life  
Can't get no love without sacrifice  
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well  
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell_

"_This is the hardest story that I've ever told  
No hope, no love, no glory  
Happy endings gone forever more  
I feel as if I'm wasted  
And I'm wastin' every day_"

Kurt heard Blaine's voice crack on the high note; he could see the tears forming in Blaine's eyes, because the words were hitting too close to home.

"_This is the way you left me  
I'm not pretending  
No hope, no love, no glory  
No happy ending_

"_This is the way that we love  
Like it's forever  
To live the rest of our life,  
But not together_"

Kurt had a feeling that he wasn't the only member of the Warblers who was having trouble fighting back the tears as Blaine sang.

"_2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind  
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around  
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep  
I can think that we just carried on_

"_This is the hardest story that I've ever told  
No hope, no love, no glory  
No happy ending_

"_This is the way that we love  
Like it's forever  
Then live the rest of our life,  
But not together_

"_A little bit of love, little bit of love  
Little bit of love, little bit of love_"

Kurt played his part as Blaine walked off the stage. That wasn't part of the script; Blaine was supposed to finish the song with them, even though it didn't completely go with the original song. Kurt knew something was wrong. Something had to be wrong if Blaine wasn't finishing a performance.

"_A little bit of love, little bit of love  
Little bit of love, little bit of love_

"_This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending  
No hope, no love, no glory  
No happy ending_

"_This is the way that we love  
Like it's forever  
To live the rest of our life  
But not together_

"_This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending  
No hope, no love, no glory  
No happy ending_

"_This is the way that we love  
Like it's forever  
To live the rest of our life  
But not together_"

The Warblers slowly started to file off the stage, until only the first few to sing were left on the stage to sing the last few lines, Kurt one of them.

"_This is the way you left me  
I'm not pretending  
No hope, no love, no glory  
No happy ending_."

As soon as the curtain closed, Kurt turned and ran off the stage in the same direction Blaine had walked. He pushed his way through the crowds backstage, ignoring everyone he ran into. Kurt had to find Blaine… he had to make sure that the older boy was okay.

There had been signs all week – little signals that things were not right with the Warblers' lead singer. Only the few who knew what was up would have even noticed him acting strangely. Blaine had been sleeping more than usual, complaining of headaches, talking his way out of classes. The only thing he had bothered with was Warblers rehearsal, and even there Blaine had been quiet and withdrawn… not himself at all. But the other guys hadn't noticed, or at least they hadn't said a word to anyone who knew what was going on.

"Kurt!" Kurt shook his head as he heard Mercedes' voice calling out to him. He had to keep moving. "Kurt, where are you going?"

"I have to find Blaine… he left, in the middle of our song," Kurt tried to explain, looking around. He still hadn't found the older boy. He hadn't seen any sign of him.

"I think I saw him go to the bathroom a minute ago…" Kurt ran into the bathroom and looked around, finally spotting the older boy crumpled down on the tile floor. Kurt fell to his knees next to Blaine, gently placing a hand on the older boy's face.

"Blaine?" Kurt could feel the heat radiating from Blaine's body. "God, you're burning up…" Kurt felt Blaine's fingers wrapping around his wrist.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" Kurt asked.

"For ruining everything…." Blaine began, his eyes closing.

"No… no, you're not dying on me. Not like this. Not yet."

"Kiss me… one more time." Kurt leaned in and pressed his lips against Blaine's, ignoring the heat.

"That is _not_ going to be our last kiss…" Kurt began, dialing three numbers on his phone.

Kurt rushed through the details with the operator, watching Blaine's face the entire time he spoke. The older boy was starting to sweat profusely, and the pale color of his skin terrified Kurt. "Kurt…" He took the older boy's hands in his own.

"Blaine? Kurt?" Kurt turned his head and saw Wes and David sticking their heads in through the bathroom door.

"I don't know what's going on… he's burning up," Kurt replied. He wouldn't dare let his own tears fall; it was too soon for Blaine to actually be dying on them. "I called 911, they're coming…"

"I'll go wait out front…" David began, turning and running out of the room. Kurt bit his bottom lip as Wes walked over to them, pressing his fingers against Blaine's neck carefully. Kurt watched Blaine open his eyes and smile weakly at Wes, one of his best friends.

"I'm not supposed to be dying… not today."

"And you're not going to… we're going to take you to the hospital," Wes explained. Blaine shook his head, closing his eyes. He reached out and weakly pulled Wes closer to him in an awkward hug. "You're not giving up on me here, Blaine."

The bathroom was silent until the paramedics arrived. It wasn't until they'd left with Blaine that Kurt allowed himself to break down. Kurt felt Wes immediately put his arms around him and Kurt let his head rest on the senior's shoulder, crying onto the shoulder of Wes's blazer.

"What the hell… where are they taking Blaine? What happened?"

"Blaine's sick, Jeff. Tell the others. Kurt and I are going to the hospital… we'll keep you all updated." For once, Kurt didn't mind Wes's commanding personality because it was getting things done. Jeff and the other Warblers wouldn't question Wes, because he was on the council, and all Kurt had to do was follow the older boy's lead until they got to the hospital.

"You want us to stay here?"

"Yeah… stay until the competition's over. It's not going to do any good for everyone to crowd into the emergency room. Besides, someone should be here in case we win." Kurt let the smaller senior lead him out of the bathroom and out towards the parking lot, where all of the Warblers had parked their various vehicles. Kurt had arrived in the same car as Wes, David, and Blaine… the only issue their leaving would cause would be for David to figure out who to ride back to Dalton with.

"Kurt! Hey Kurt, wait up!" Kurt stopped, feeling Wes stop with him and turn around towards the voice.

"It's that big dude from McKinley's glee club…" Wes muttered. Kurt sighed and turned around to face his step-brother, wanting nothing more than to go to the hospital to be with Blaine.

"Finn… I have to go…"

"Kurt? Dude, what's wrong?"

"I have to go… Blaine's sick. I… I'll call you later, Finn," Kurt said, turning around and continuing out of the building with Wes. He completely ignored his step-brother's attempt to say something else to him, instead focusing on getting out of the building and checking on Blaine. Kurt closed his eyes as he climbed into the front seat of Wes's car, pulling his seatbelt on.

"I don't understand… he's supposed to have months left. They said a year…" Kurt began.

"It must have weakened his immune system… spread or something." Kurt bit down on his bottom lip, closing his eyes and doing his best to keep calm.


	3. Just A Dream

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Glee or any of these characters… if I did, Karofsky wouldn't exist anymore, Jesse wouldn't have been such an asshole (albeit one I believe legitimately fell for Rachel), and there would be a LOT more Blaine. The song "If I Die Young" belongs to The Band Perry. "Just a Dream" belongs to Carrie Underwood.

**A/n: I suppose I should explain… the chapter titles are based on the song title in each chapter. I'm sorry if I gave anyone a false hope with the title of the last chapter… it's just sort of a perfect song for that situation – a way for Blaine to sort of say goodbye without actually having to say it.**

Waiting around the hospital was starting to drive Kurt crazy. Blaine had been so sick over the past several days, Kurt had barely been allowed in to see him. It had been a week since Regionals, and Kurt was starting to get worried that the three weeks since Blaine had been diagnosed were all that the older boy was going to get.

"_It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen,  
All dressed in white, going to the church that night  
She had his box of letters sitting in the passenger seat  
Sixpence in her shoe, something borrowed, something blue_

"_And when the church doors opened up wide  
She put her veil down trying to hide the tears  
Oh, she just couldn't believe it  
She heard the trumpets from the military band  
And the flowers laying in her hands_

"_Baby why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe, it's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me, this is just a dream_"

Kurt hated country music; he wasn't even sure why he hadn't turned the television in the waiting room away from such a depressing channel. But something had stopped him from touching the remote, and now he was stuck there, just watching Carrie Underwood on the screen.

"_The preacher man said, 'Let us bow our heads and pray  
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt  
Then the congregation all stood up and sang  
The saddest song that she ever heard_

"_Then they handed her a folded up flag  
And she held on to all she had left of him  
And what could've been  
And then the guns rang one last shot  
And it felt like a bullet in her heart_

"_Baby why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe, it's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me, this is just a dream_

"_Baby why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
Oh, I'll never know, it's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me, this is just a dream  
Oh, this is just a dream, just a dream_."

Kurt closed his eyes against the tears as he heard someone walk up and turn off the television. "You shouldn't be watching shit like that… it's depressing."

"I'm sitting in a hospital waiting room, waiting for my best friend – the guy I'm in love with – to die. So yeah, depressing kind of fits the bill right now." Kurt felt the familiar sensation of someone sitting down on the bench-style seat next to him and an arm around his shoulders.

"He's not going to die… not today, anyway. The fever broke." Kurt looked up, opening his eyes at David's words. The tears were still there, but Kurt had them under control as David spoke. "He's asking for you."

"I can't see him… not like this. I look awful," Kurt replied.

"Blaine's not going to give a shit… he said if you started talking like this, I should tell you to shut up and stop being a dumbass." Kurt couldn't help but smile; that was something Blaine would say. "Come on… he may not be awake very long. He's exhausted." Kurt nodded, standing up and letting David lead him towards Blaine's hospital room. Kurt stopped at the door of the room, leaning against the doorway for a moment, wiping away the tears from his eyes. He didn't want Blaine to see him crying.

"I don't care if you're crying, Kurt… I just want you to come see me." Kurt bit down on his bottom lip, terrified of how weak Blaine sounded. But he moved into the room and closer to the bed, where Blaine was lying. He was pale, paler even than Kurt despite the darker tone to his skin, and Kurt could tell that he had lost weight. Kurt moved closer, until he could take the hand that barely raised itself above the thin hospital mattress.

"You're so cold…" Kurt whispered, rubbing his hand over the older boy's icy fingers.

"I'm not cold… I don't feel it." Kurt took a deep breath as Blaine's fingers tightened around his own hand. The older boy was weak, too weak to really hold onto Kurt's hand no matter how hard he tried.

"You're going to leave me."

"I wish I had a choice," Blaine replied, reaching up with his free hand to brush away the tears from Kurt's face. "I told you… I told you not to fall in love with me."

"You were too late… you couldn't have stopped me if you'd tried." Kurt leaned over and pressed his lips against Blaine's briefly, ignoring the hard chapped skin of Blaine's lips. "I told you that wasn't going to be our last kiss."

"There aren't many left…" Blaine began, his eyes closing involuntarily.

"Don't say that…"

"You're lying to yourself if you try to say it isn't true. You know, Kurt, as well as I do. You know I'm telling the truth." Kurt pulled his hand away from Blaine, shaking his head as the tears started flowing freely.

"Stop, Blaine. Stop saying that. Please. I don't want to talk about that now."

"It's coming, Kurt… you can't avoid it forever…" Blaine whispered.

"But I can avoid it for a little while if you'll just shut up," Kurt replied, leaning in and pressing another kiss on Blaine's lips. "Sleep… I'll be here when you wake up." Kurt watched as the older boy's breathing evened out until he fell asleep. Then, for the first time Kurt really looked at Blaine's frail body and all of the tubes and wires that were extending from it. The scariest for Kurt was the series of wires escaping from the sleeve of the hospital gown and into a small box in the pocket. A heart monitor – the kind that reported to a computer elsewhere, that would set off an alarm at the nurse's desk if anything happened.

"He's still holding strong… I don't know how long he has, but it could still be a while." Kurt nodded as he felt a soft hand on his shoulder.

"I'm in love with him… I'm seventeen years old and I'm losing the man I love. Losing him forever."

"It's not forever, Kurt… you'll see him again." Kurt shook his head, sighing and pulling away from Blaine's mother.

"It's not that easy… it's never going to be that easy," Kurt replied, falling into a nearby chair and pulling his knees against his chest. "He's dying."

"I know…"

"I'm an atheist, okay? I don't believe in all that after-life stuff. When he's gone, it's over." Kurt rested his hand against his forehead, his eyes closed. He wanted to hold Blaine, to rest his head against the older boy's chest as it rose and fell. To be as close to Blaine as possible. Kurt felt the woman place a hand on his shoulder again.

"There's nothing I can say. Just please, Kurt… don't run away. Stay with him. I don't think that he would survive losing you," she replied.

"I don't intend to go anywhere. No matter how much this hurts, I'm here until the end." Kurt watched as Blaine shifted in the bed, obviously uncomfortable. "He's in pain, isn't he?"

"It's in his bones… there's pain medication, but it doesn't make it go away completely. There's only so much they can do for him now." Kurt nodded, fighting back the tears.


	4. Make You Feel My Love

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Glee or any of these characters… if I did, Karofsky wouldn't exist anymore, Jesse wouldn't have been such an asshole (albeit one I believe legitimately fell for Rachel), and there would be a LOT more Blaine. The song "If I Die Young" belongs to The Band Perry. "To Make You Feel My Love" was originally recorded by Bob Dylan, and has been re-recorded by Garth Brooks and Adele.

**A/n: Alright, this is the next to last chapter. I have one more song that I want to use in this story after this.**

Kurt looked down, rubbing the back of Blaine's hand with his thumb. It was close to the end, and Kurt knew it. They all knew it.

"Kurt…" Kurt watched Blaine's face as the older boy mumbled his name, not even opening his eyes. Blaine's hand seemed to be the only thing that was moving, just barely tightening down on Kurt's.

"I'm right here, Blaine." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand softly, mostly to let the older boy know that he was still right there.

"Love you…"

"I love you, too, Blaine." Kurt leaned over, running a hand through the mass of wild curls as he leaned over and pressed his lips against Blaine's. "Don't give up on me now. Don't leave me."

"'m sorry…" Kurt pressed another kiss against Blaine's lips, not bothering to try and hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. This time there was no point. Blaine couldn't see the tears anyway; the one person Kurt had tried to protect from seeing him break down was too weak to open his eyes and see what was going on. "Will you sing?"

"You want me to sing for you?" Kurt asked, whispering into the older boy's ear. He watched as Blaine slowly moved his head up and down, nodding just enough for Kurt to see what the older boy meant. "Okay…" Kurt thought for a moment, trying to figure out what he should sing. Finally, Kurt thought of a song.

"_When the rain is blowing in your face  
And the whole world is on your case  
I could offer you a warm embrace  
To make you feel my love_

"_When evening shadows and the stars appear  
There is no one to dry your tears  
I would hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love_

"_I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
But I would never do you wrong  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong_

"_I'd go hungry, I'd go blind for you  
And I'd go crawling down the aisle for you  
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_

"_The storms are raging on the rolling sea  
Back on the highway of regret  
The winds of change are blowing wild and free  
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet_

"_There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends of the earth for you  
Make you happy, make your dreams come true  
To make you feel my love._"

Kurt closed his eyes and sighed as he finished the song. Blaine's hand gently squeezed Kurt's one last time, until it was limp in Kurt's hand. By the time the younger boy opened his eyes again, the heart monitor was showing a flat line and a nurse was already turning off the machines that had been helping the older boy stay alive just a little while longer.

"They said a year, but he only got a month…" Kurt whispered.

"No one expected him to get sick… to be so weak so quickly." Kurt felt an arm wrap around his shoulders as he stood there. "You should go back to the dorm… get some rest." Kurt nodded, gently putting down Blaine's hand. As soon as he turned away from the bed, Kurt felt Blaine's mother wrapping her arms around him in a strong hug.

Jeff and Nick were waiting out in the lobby as soon as Kurt walked out of the hospital room. They led Kurt out of the hospital and into Jeff's car, being thankfully silent as they drove him back towards the school. Kurt wanted to be alone with his thoughts, and the two other Warblers obviously recognized that from the expression on his face. They were halfway back to campus before Kurt started to cry, the tears streaming down his face and sobs wracking his body. It wasn't the silent crying that he'd perfected since he'd discovered Blaine was dying. Kurt couldn't stop.

"It's okay, Kurt…" a voice began. Kurt wasn't sure why, but suddenly one of the other boys in the vehicle was in the backseat with him, holding him as he cried. Kurt just held onto the other boy's lapels, crying against his chest.


	5. Let It Be

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Glee or any of these characters… if I did, Karofsky wouldn't exist anymore, Jesse wouldn't have been such an asshole (albeit one I believe legitimately fell for Rachel), and there would be a LOT more Blaine. The song "If I Die Young" belongs to The Band Perry. "Let It Be" belongs to The Beatles, although this chapter was inspired by the Across the Universe arrangement.

**A/n: Alright, this is the FINAL chapter of this story; this is where it's meant to end. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, and I hope I didn't upset you all too much!**

"_When I find myself in times of trouble  
Mother Mary comes to me  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

"_And in my hour of darkness  
She is standing right in front of me  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

"_Let it be, let it be  
Let it be, let it be  
Whisper words of wisdom  
Let it be_

"_And when the brokenhearted people  
Living in this world agree  
There will be an answer, let it be_

"_For though they may be parted  
There is still a chance that they will see  
There will be an answer, let it be_

"_Let it be, let it be  
Let it be, let it be  
There will be an answer  
Let it be_

"_And when the night is cloudy  
There is still a light that shines on me  
Shine on 'til tomorrow, let it be_

"_I wake up to the sound of music  
Mother Mary comes to me  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

"_Let it be, let it be  
Let it be, let it be  
There will be an answer  
Let it be_

"_Let it be, let it be  
Let it be, let it be  
Whisper words of wisdom  
Let it be_."

Kurt had done so well, keeping it together. He'd been strong – too strong. And now they were burying Blaine and it felt as though Kurt was being ripped apart inside, even as he sang one of Blaine's favorite songs along with the other Warblers.

Every moment of Kurt's life since Jeff and Nick had dropped him off at his dorm room had somehow been taken up by all of the little things that just hadn't mattered to him since Regionals and Blaine's sudden illness. Things like homework, which Kurt's teachers had let slide somewhat because they could all see that the fact Blaine was dying had seriously affected Kurt. Not that anyone would have been able to miss that particular fact.

Warblers rehearsal had also suddenly become essential, although it was at least partially because Blaine's mother had asked them to sing at the service. They'd lost Regionals; Kurt wasn't sure where they had placed, exactly, or where his former glee club had ended up in the rankings either. But the only thing they had to keep going for was singing at the service.

Three days wasn't much time for learning new music; they were lucky, in some ways, because the songs that had been chosen were simple enough. Blaine had been a Beatles fan, and "Let It Be" was by far the most appropriate song for the occasion. The other songs were traditional funeral fare – hymns and the like – that most of the boys already knew. Kurt had been one of the few who had needed to learn all of those songs from scratch. It had meant extra rehearsals, more time spent simply going over the music again and again until the Warblers knew the music and could perform it without anyone breaking down in tears.

That had been the hardest part, dealing with the breakdowns. Kurt hadn't allowed himself the luxury of breaking down; he'd forced himself to stay strong, mostly because he knew that it wouldn't do any good to give into the pain in his chest in front of all the Warblers. Kurt had pushed it all down, something to deal with once everything else was over. Something that he could control, at least for the most part, until he actually had time to deal with all of the emotions. Kurt hadn't even allowed himself to shed a tear since he had broken down in the backseat of Nick's car, crying into Jeff's lapel.

But now… the funeral was over. There was going to be another service – a service at the graveside – but Kurt and the other Warblers weren't going. That was meant for family, the insane number of cousins, aunts, and uncles that Kurt had never even known about simply because he and Blaine hadn't been given enough time to learn those things about one another.

"Kurt." Kurt turned back towards the church as he heard Wes's voice calling to him. "Blaine's mom wants to talk to us… the rest of the guys are going to head back to campus without us."

"We didn't drive…" Kurt began.

"David did. He's staying, too." Kurt just nodded, turning around and following Wes back towards the church. He had been hoping to get away so that he could go back to his dorm room at Dalton and start dealing with all of the emotions he had been bottling up. He was exhausted from simply doing his best to make it through the past several days, and now he was being asked to keep the charade going even longer than he had originally planned.

Blaine's mother almost instantly wrapped her arms around Kurt when she saw him, and he followed suit because he knew that it was expected. He couldn't exactly ignore the fact that Blaine's mother was there hugging him, clearly a gesture of mutual comfort.

"I know we said it was just for family… but you three were closer to Blaine than most of the people in this room. I thought you might like to stay." Kurt closed his eyes; he wasn't sure he could take this added stress. He was already so tired – both emotionally and physically – that Kurt wasn't sure he would be able to deal with this as well.

"Kurt?" It was strange; Wes and David seemed to be waiting for his response, waiting for Kurt to make the decision about what they were going to do.

"If you guys want to… I don't want to force either of you," Kurt replied. He watched as Wes and David looked at one another briefly, before nodding and starting to follow Blaine's family out to the cemetery.

It was a short service; the day was unnaturally cold, even for early April, and the three of them were grateful for that because none of them had thought to bring a coat to wear over their school blazers. None of them had expected that Blaine's mother would treat them like family.

Kurt let the tears drip down his face as the minister spoke. He was finally done being strong, because he didn't have to be so strong any more. Kurt didn't have a reason to hold back now. There was nothing left to do. It was the end of the story.


End file.
